MMGM and #IMWAYR: Parachute Kids, Gender Queer, and more!
I'm feeling pretty good as of Saturday morning, writing this! Two stressful things in the past week went better than I expected, and I've been totally enjoying a new-to-me album by one of my favorite artists (Close It Quietly by Frankie Cosmos).
I've got two books to share today! Just a heads-up, if you're short on time, my review of Parachute Kids is long and conflicted, while my review of Gender Queer is shorter and unequivocally positive, so I suggest you skip ahead to that one if you have to choose.
Let's dive into some books!
Middle Grade:
Parachute Kids
I am temporarily removing this review from my blog. Thanks!
Young Adult/Adult:
Gender Queer
A Memoir
So you might know this book as the absolute political lightning rod it is—I feel like it's become the literal poster child of book banning. And I am certain that is not what Maia Kobabe was going for when e decided to write such a courageous narrative, only a few years after declaring e would never write something autobiographical again (as noted in the publisher's description above).
What politicians want you to think is that this book is some kind of mind-manipulating calculated propaganda written by an evil genius—and what this actually is, is a sensitive, thoughtful, quietly joyous, and personal book that aims to make people's lives better, one at a time. And of course, there's power implicit in the discreet courage of Kobabe sharing so vulnerably about eir own life—and that power scares the kind of people who want to convince you and your children not to explore and express your own selves.
In short, of course this book is powerful, because what's more powerful than storytelling?
This book doesn't have a plot arc per se, because as we all know, real life rarely proceeds in a nice five-act structure. Instead, Maia Kobabe weaves seemingly disparate moments together with the help of eir clear and anchoring narration on every page. The narration is essential here, because there is complexity in Kobabe's human experience that illustration alone can't quite get at—and yet, the illustrations are essential for conveying the emotion that sometimes seems too intense or tender to put into words.
Kobabe has written this book almost entirely from the perspective that sharing about eir own experience will result in readers feeling seen too—e doesn't need to explicitly acknowledge the audience, because that acknowledgment is implicit in the bravery of putting it all on the page. I think there will be a spectrum of reader familiarity with what Kobabe describes—some readers will be starting from scratch and getting a substantial crash course in LGBTQ+ identity, some readers will be familiar with ideas like dysphoria or asexuality and will see how they look outside of a vacuum, and some readers will feel like virtually every single page is a reflection of their own experience.
Without ever being preachy or didactic, Kobabe explores countless topics including gender expression, crushes, relationships, menstruation-related dysphoria, sex drive, binding, TERFs, and more. We see little brutal moments of hurt amidst an experience of coming out that nevertheless still could have gone worse, and we see big brutal moments of hurt amidst Kobabe's traumatic (and heartrendingly rendered) experience with pap smears. There's so much in here, and the reason it all fits so seamlessly into such a small book is Kobabe's concision—e can convey so much emotion, and so much reality, in just a few words and some deceptively simple illustrations.
We need to talk about this book's exploration of sexuality. I shouldn't make light of something this serious, but also, I can't really get over the sheer irony that the book being lambasted for having too much sexual content is written by someone who is literally asexual and describes having a markedly lower sex drive than eir peers. Like, Congressman _____, if you're this disturbed by how much sexual content is inside Maia Kobabe's head, you should see how much sexual content is inside your own head.
My sense is that people keep equating this book with pornography, and it is a correct fact to say that there are multiple sexually explicit illustrations throughout this book's narrative. But they are not pornography, because the intent of pornography is to cause sexual arousal, whereas the intent of Gender Queer is to depict a person's experience with sexual arousal—and thereby, to normalize sexual arousal—but not to cause it.
I think we as a society are engaged in an impressively thorough act of delusion regarding how much young readers know and understand about sex and sexuality. People literally have sexual impulses as toddlers, y'all. And there's nothing wrong with being aware of the sexual content in this book so you can process it healthily with readers in your life—but the idea that the sexual content in this book is going to corrupt young readers is untrue. Listen—your child is thinking about sex, and will continue to think about sex, and isn't going to die or go to hell because of it, or even suffer because of it unless you make them feel bad about it. Maia Kobabe thought about sex—just like me, and you, and everyone. But unlike everyone, e talked about it, in a published book, in a thoroughly brave attempt to deconstruct the absurd web of weirdness that is our society's understanding of sex.
None of the sexual content in this book is going to hurt anyone, ever. Period.
I love this book. I love it so much, with my whole heart. I really hope people understand how much of a gift it is, a literal gift, a kindness given to us when people like Maia Kobabe choose to chronicle their human experience for us to learn from. Can you imagine the courage it took for Kobabe to study eir own life under a microscope and create this coherent, impactful, smart narrative? Can you imagine the courage it took to push through the attention, positive and negative alike, that came from how this book was treated by literal politicians?
The story of this book's existence is as complicated as the story inside this book—and both matter. And I hope that the story of this book's existence involves yet another person—you—pushing through the narrative you've been told about it, and picking it up, and discovering the story inside it, and realizing that this book isn't a work of propaganda. It's a work of kindness.
Maia Kobabe, thank you for this book. We stand with you. 🫶✊
I hadn't heard the term parachute kids before but the concept is super interesting. Thanks, as always, for your thoughtful reviews!
ReplyDeleteIt's funny—I hadn't heard the term until reading these two books, even though I knew students who fit the exact description! I hope the reviews are helpful, and thanks so much for stopping by, Helen!
DeleteI used to always finish books- until one day, after struggling for months with a book I didn't like, I realized I was just wasting my own time. There are more books out there than I can ever read in my lifetime- so why not spend the time reading books I love (or at least like). So- now I do stop if I give the book a good chance and do not like it.
ReplyDeleteI had never heard of parachute kids before reading this post Thanks for introducing me to the idea- and the books. Both reviews were very thoughtful. I have heard about Gender Queer, but haven't read it yet. Thanks for all the information. It was great reading your thoughts. :)
That's a really wise perspective on choosing when to DNF a book—you're right, there's so little time to read that we have to spend it reading what's actually worthwhile! And giving a book a good chance is definitely valuable too—I've definitely read books that were slow at the start and almost favorites by the end, although they are rare.
DeleteI feel like parachute kids are not well-known—I only know about them because I knew several at my school! I'm glad I could introduce you to the concept and share these books with you—thanks so much for stopping by!
I hadn't heard of parachute kids either. I have a hard time seeing kids being able to fend for themselves without a host family. I love Kelly Yang and will check out her YA novel. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteI agree—the idea of not even having a host family seems especially challenging to me. And Parachutes is definitely worth a read—relatedly, I am always blown away by how many books Kelly Yang has written, so quickly! I literally just discovered two new ones by going to her website 10 seconds ago. Thanks so much for stopping by, Natalie!
DeleteI drop books often, Max, have too little time to read what I want! Thanks for the review for Parachute Kids, so interesting to read how Betty Tang told the story. I do know that many children have to grow up fast within the immigration turmoil but it seems that it was tough for this group who needed at least one adult outside the home to turn to for support. And I know about Gender Queer, need to read it but I've already given it to a family member from the good words written by others. Have a great week ahead, holidaying or whatever comes your way!
ReplyDeleteYou dropping books explains why all the ones you post about look amazing—perhaps the meh ones just never make it to being reviewed! You're right, the immigration situation here really does force so many young people to become or act like adults at an age that is just not good for them. And that's so wonderful that you've shared Gender Queer with a family member—I hope you get the chance to read it too! Thanks so much for stopping by, Linda, and have a great week and holiday as well!
DeleteI almost never DNF a book. I sometimes want to but I feel it's unfair to a book not to give it every chance to redeem itself - isn't that ridiculous :) ?? However I think you totally right not to persevere, there are a lot of books to read so why spend your valuable reading time on one you are not enjoying! I have got to start walking away from then too! I didn't know the term Parachute kids, but only recently a friend was telling me about her teenage son's friend from Japan (I think) whose parents lived in Japan. Apparently he could go to school in Ireland but wouldn't be able to go to university here (I can't remember why). My immediate reaction was how cruel to send him so far from home! I think it's a good question to ask (ie if it's worth it), although I don't know the answer! :)
ReplyDeleteIt's not ridiculous at all, and I love getting to hear everyone's different perspectives on this! It's great that you try to give books a chance to improve, since so many books might be weak in one section and strong in another. And it's funny, because the book I DNFed was actually really short, so it wouldn't have taken much perseverance in terms of time to finish it—I just apparently really didn't want to, and now I'm on to a great one!
DeleteAnd that's an interesting story to hear, and definitely challenging for that friend who would have to go somewhere else to attend university. It's definitely a complicated question in terms of balancing the potential benefits and the obvious challenges of being far from home! Thanks so much for stopping by, Valinora, and have a great week!
Thanks for your thoughts about Parachute Kids. It's helpful to know both the good and the bad. I used to never DNF a book, but a few years ago I decided to give myself permission to abandon any book I'm not really into. I just DNF'd an audiobook this morning! I heard on a podcast once that there are more books published on any single Tuesday than one person could read in a lifetime. There are way too many books out there that I do want to read and time is limited and precious. Similar to what you said to Linda it might seem that I like every book I read, but if I'm not liking it I probably gave up on it!
ReplyDeleteThat statistic about books being published is really fascinating—I definitely didn't imagine it being quite at that scale! I can definitely see how with that many books coming out, we'd need to save our time for the ones that work for us. And I think I had always just assumed all the other bloggers had flawless abilities to pick books they would like—somehow, it never occurred to me that y'all are just highlighting the books you read that you actually finished and enjoyed! Thanks so much for stopping by, Lisa!
DeleteGreat set of reviews. I had planned on reading both of these and even though you had some reservations about plot and characters in Parachute Kids, I'm still going to keep it on my future read list. My family hosted a Japanese student when I was growing up so many of the points brought up will resonate. Gender Queer is facing a lot of scrutiny in schools and libraries but I hope it is able to withstand the hate. Thanks for being a part of the pre-4th of July edition of MMGM.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you feel like Parachute Kids will resonate with you, Greg—it definitely has a lot of merit, despite its flaws! I hope Gender Queer can withstand the hate too—I was reading an interview with Maia Kobabe in the news yesterday where e was talking about all the love e's received for the book, in addition to the criticism. Thanks so much for stopping by and hosting us!
DeleteI admire the depth that you went into when analyzing Parachute Kids. Made me think of my own WIP and the implications of dropping kids into a culture that is totally foreign.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Carol, and I'm glad the review resonated for you—thanks for stopping by!
DeleteI appreciate your honesty and thoughtful review of Parachute Kids. I've found myself DNF'ing more and more books as I've grown older.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Earl—I appreciate that! That totally makes sense that you've started DNFing books more often as you've gotten older—I can imagine myself doing the same. Thanks so much for stopping by!
DeleteYou've definitely added some great discussion and thoughts regarding these two books! I am not a frequent DNFer, I usually will stick through reading a book, but there are certainly exceptions to this depending on the content. Have a great week ahead!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Sara! And that makes sense that you're not a frequent DNFer—I tend to be the same (especially with graphic novels, which usually aren't too long), so I get that! Thanks so much for stopping by!
DeleteI appreciate your thourgh review, with all the positive and critiques. I find these kind of reviews very helpful. I’ll be adding both to my TBR list.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad my reviews are helpful and I could bring these books to your attention! Thanks so much for stopping by!
DeleteI think I just requested both of these for review, so I appreciate the preview & as always, your thoughtful reviews. I had never heard of the term "parachute kids" before, thought the book's title was something the author made up (I only read a short blurb before requesting it), and had no idea that this was a THING. It's shocking, and I'm glad I'll have the chance to learn more by reading the book.
ReplyDeleteA quick note on what middle-grade means in the publishing industry because it's confusing. Many people equate "middle-grade" books with middle-school kids but that's not quite accurate. When I was reviewing kids' books professionally (for about 20 years), middle-grade typically referred to the 4th-8th grade age group - kids that had outgrown picture books but weren't yet ready for teen/YA books. Your comment on multiple characters, including some teens, is still valid, I just thought you might appreciate the clarification.
Gender Queer sounds even more thoughtful and informative. I can't wait to read them both!
Sue
2023 Big Book Summer Challenge
Oh, wow—I'll be excited to hear your thoughts on these stories, since your reviews are always so thoughtful as well! I would have thought parachute kids was a made-up term too had I not actually known some at my school—it's definitely something literally no one talks about ever. And I appreciate the clarification about MG—I didn't know that it stretches down to about 4th grade! Thanks so much for stopping by, Sue!
DeleteI think Parachute Kids sounds pretty interesting. I have heard of kids being left behind by parents, but it is always a shock to think about. I'm going to try to check out a copy of this. I don't read much YA, so Gender Queer probably won't be one I'll pick up, but I appreciate knowing about it. Thanks for your very thorough reviews.
ReplyDeleteI hope you enjoy Parachute Kids if you get a chance to read it, Rosi! And that is fair about Gender Queer—I'm glad I could keep you informed about it nonetheless. Thanks so much for stopping by!
DeleteI also found it very useful to hear your praise and criticisms of Parachute Kids. It being a Scholastic graphic novel, it might be an automatic for elementary librarians, I think it will be widely promoted. The cover looks a lot like Invisible or The Tryout which were also heavily promoted and in book fairs. Your thoughts are a good reminder that what might have the look of a light, fun graphic novel should be read so a librarian can discuss it with kids. Thanks for the reviews!
ReplyDeleteThat is a really good point, Aaron, and one I honestly hadn't thought about—the Scholastic brand name and the fun cover will definitely get this book into kids' hands soon enough, but perhaps with some misconceptions about the content itself. Thanks so much for stopping by!
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